Why Does Drinking Coffee Make Your Boobs Smaller?
According to Swedish researchers,
drinking a lot of coffee reduces the size of women’s boobs. (Do researchers no longer study anything important, such as a cure for cancer? Or why do men act the way they do? Or why has Josh not called me back yet?)
Helena Jernstroem, the study’s chief oncologist, was observing data linking large-breasted women to an increased risk of a breast cancer diagnosis when she discovered the link between coffee and breasts.
The link is that women who drink three cups of coffee per day have a lower risk of developing breast cancer. I’m going to buy every type of coffee I can find at this point. Every holiday, I only want Starbucks gift cards.
The Swedish studies (conducted on 270 women) discovered that roughly half of the women carry the gene responsible for boob shrinkage in coffee drinkers. I wish I had been a cool girl who was into things like chai tea or Jasmine leaves, but I really just love caffeine.
Jernstroem assured us, “They will get smaller, but the breasts will not simply disappear.” Well, that’s a relief.
“Anyone who thinks they can tell which women are coffee drinkers just by looking at their bra measurements will be disappointed,” she adds. “The problem is that there are two measures for a bra — the cup size and the girth, so you wouldn’t be able to tell.”
As a result, we tiny-cup-sizes can continue to savor our flat whites with gusto!
After all, you’re going to like what you like. Don’t let society or scientists from another country dictate what you want to do. Bra size is irrelevant, and even if it were, I would still choose coffee
